Living Your Best Life: Tips for my younger self

It feels like only yesterday, yet it also feels like I’ve wasted so many years. I look back now with some regret, feeling that I could have done more. I still remember the excitement I felt when I completed my last paper in senior high school. I was so eager to come home and embrace adulthood. I couldn’t wait to do all the things I thought Mom never allowed me to do—like using my phone freely without having to answer questions about who I was talking to, or watching all the movies and series I had been wanting to binge forever. Most importantly, I dreamed of braiding my hair, fixing my nails, and doing all the “girly” things I saw my peers or seniors doing once school was out.

Don’t get me wrong, none of these things are inherently bad. But looking back, I realize I focused on the wrong things. There was so much more I could have done to invest in myself. I could have spent time seeking guidance about choosing the right courses for university, exploring my God-given talents and strengths, discovering my purpose, serving more, or even starting that business, YouTube channel, modeling career, or fashion dream. But I didn’t think about any of that until they started selling the university admission forms.

It felt like I had no mind of my own back then. I just went along with whatever Mom and Dad wanted or expected from me. Again, I’m not saying parents don’t know what’s best for us, but it’s your life, and you deserve to have a say in it—respectfully, of course.

To be clear I’m not saying that people can’t turn their lives around or succeed despite the influence of their parents or the challenges they’ve faced. In fact, many do. But looking back, I realize I could have done better with the choices I had. And that’s exactly why I’m urging you to do more for yourself, because you can. You have what it takes. Just stay focused and keep your eyes on the prize.

Sure, your parents or others may influence some of your choices—like the program you study, the school you attend, or even the hall you live in—but it’s up to you to make the most of it. Make the good grades, and from there, decide on your next move. Whether it’s pursuing a second degree, starting a career, or carving out your own unique path, remember that you hold the power to shape your future.

Always keep in mind that even in a world where we’re often presented with set expectations, you can be the one to make a difference. It’s your life, and no matter the influences around you, you can turn things around and make it count.

For me, going to university wasn’t a personal decision; it was something everyone else was doing, so I followed suit. I didn’t have any personal resolutions or goals. I wasn’t committed to learning or achieving anything in particular. Instead, I spent my time packing, eager to experience life away from home, but without a clear sense of direction.

To all the recent high school graduates out there, here’s what I wish I knew: focus on what truly matters. Yes, you can hang out with friends, but know the right kind of friends to keep. The people you spend time with, the places you go, and the mindset you cultivate—those things count. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have fun or that you need to live a “holier-than-thou” lifestyle, looking down on others for making different choices. But it’s also important not to lose yourself by indulging in extremes. Strike a balance and set goals for yourself during this period of transition.

The key is to focus—focus on what’s important, especially what’s important to you. Make an effort every day to make positive changes, even small ones. Draw up a plan. You don’t need to have every detail mapped out, but at least know roughly what you want, where you’re headed, and what steps you need to take.

Please, take time to figure out what truly matters. In The Rules of Life, author Richard Templar says, “There are a few things in life that are important, and a whole lot of things that aren’t. It doesn’t take too much discrimination to work out which is which.” In simpler terms: know what counts and what doesn’t. Don’t mistake trivial things for what’s truly important.

Having and finding time for good friends counts. Family counts. For my ladies, dressing in designer or popular clothing, especially if you can’t afford it, doesn’t count. For my guys, sleeping with that girl you’ve been eyeing for months—especially unprotected—doesn’t count.

Keep your focus, stay true to yourself, and make decisions that will benefit your future self.

With love,

Rammie.