A Letter to My Ex

All too soon, the journey has come to an end. But while it lasted, it wasn’t all bad, was it? For all the good and the bad times, we shared something real. My ex and I may not be best friends right now, but we’re certainly not enemies either.

Let me be clear: this isn’t a letter to cry, rant, or hope karma comes knocking on someone’s door. No, this is simply a note to say, “Thank you.” You’d agree with me that it wasn’t all terrible. For many of us, we experienced our firsts with that person—the first love, the first heartbreak, and everything in between. And you’d also agree, despite the imperfections, we all had our moments of being imperfectly perfect together.

I’m not invalidating your feelings of hurt or anger. I know they’re real and valid. All I’m suggesting is that even with the flaws they showed, there were some good qualities in there, hidden beneath it all.

For me, beneath the hurt and disappointments, one thing that stands out is his commitment. If commitment were a person, he’d have earned an award. Maybe not for me, but for the things I saw him truly care about. Whether it was getting better at playing the saxophone, staying off social media to study for a course, saving up for his dream car, or—let’s be honest—even pursuing a side-chick, the man was committed.

He’d drive miles just to see me when he wanted to, and in his way, he was dedicated to whatever he set his mind to. Looking back, I’m grateful for that lesson. He showed me, even in the hardest ways, what it means to stay committed to something—even when it wasn’t me.

Now, take a moment. Breathe in, breathe out. Think of just one positive thing you learned from your ex or exes. Let that lesson, however small, become part of your growth. We meet people for different reasons. Yes, it hurt like hell, but didn’t it also make you just a little bit wiser? So here’s to the lessons wrapped in heartbreak, to the wisdom hidden in the pain, and to the growth we never saw coming. Every ex leaves a mark—not just in our memories but in the way we move forward. Whether it’s learning how to love better, how to be better, or simply how to walk away when something no longer serves us, we are shaped by those experiences.

So, to all the exes—thank you. You were a chapter, not the whole story. And because of you, the next chapter is going to be even better.

With love,

Rammie.